The reader might think that I could have made my escape by getting the outside staff to help me. But there was absolutely no chance of that as they were completely loyal to the lady they called Madam Maria. Nor was there any chance of getting the girls round to my side. The only hope was to persuade my aunt to see that I was genuinely sorry and contrite, and that I was ready to co-operate with her.

There was no doubt that there was a strong current of masochism in my psychological makeup. She had guessed rightly that I would most likely fall in with her plans and submit to her domination and will. The only mistake she had made made was to think I could get rid of my maleness so quickly.

I liked being servile to her, provided she gave me opportunities of being in her demanding presence. She filled the role of a mother in some ways, especially when she allowed me to suck her breast. Oh, how much I now regretted my action the previous night for if I had controlled myself I would actually have spent the night with her in her bed!

As the time came round when my 'treatment' was to be resumed I got ready to make my declaration of complete obedience to her. It would not be easy, especially as I would be naked in front of her and the two girls. But it began to look as if I had everything to gain and nothing to lose so I would find it easier than I thought to make the effort.

I was called to her room about mid-day and

saw on entering that Madam Maria was holding a long riding-crop in her hand. It was apparent that I was now to be thrashed.

I was at once ordered to place myself over the back of an armchair.

'Aunt Maria,' I began, 'can I say something before you go ahead?'

'What is it you have to say?'

'I want to tell you how much I regret what has happened and to give my assurance that nothing of the kind will ever happen again. '

My aunt put down the whip and allowed me to go ahead,

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